So, this week, Michael Langdon (Cody Fern) is starting to interview people to join him and the select few at the Sanctuary. Now, I know the Sanctuary seems like a better idea than dying of radiation poisoning. But, seriously, if the victors turn up and Negan steps out with his baseball bat, I think I’ll take my chances in the apocalyptic wastelands…
CF: At this point if Negan showed up it would fit perfectly with the feel of this season.
RT: Haha! It sure would 🙂
While the interviews have begun, only Mr. Gallant (Evan Peters) has been interviewed so far and, to be honest, if Langdon and Gallant can just talk for the next eight episodes, I’d be okay with that because the pair completely ate up the scene.
Afterward, when a man in latex turns up in Mr. Gallant’s room, he is more than happy to get jiggy with him. While Gallant assumes this is Langdon, viewers know damn well it is the Rubber Man from Murder House. Which means that Evan Peters is, literally, having sex with Evan Peters. It also would mean — if it was Peters, then he also has a crush on his own son. Yeah, AHS Apocalypse is officially entering whackadoodle territory in Season 8…
so Evan Peters who's not Tate Landon fucked a mystery latex guy who's not Tate Landon either, while thinking that the latex guy was actually Tate Landon's demon son. #AHSApocalypse pic.twitter.com/hKltJfoYo1
— Brie // (@strangermilllie) September 20, 2018
CF: AHS really went down the rabbit hole with that bit of imagery. We’re not off the rails yet, but they’re more than a bit warped. And yes: a full episode of Langdon and Gallant going on about anything would be a great episode.
Gallant’s grandmother, Evie (Joan Collins), secretly catches them in the act and throws her own grandson under the bus by dobbing on him.
But totally expected because it’s Joan-Fucking-Collins.
CF: If you don’t expect Joan Collins to hang someone out to dry to save her own ass, you don’t know Joan-Fucking-Collins.
Gallant does eventually find this out. But, he literally doesn’t seem to care, even though Langdon openly shows his disgust at Gallant’s character. And, after doing a Labyrinth-inspired walk around the bunker, Gallant and the Rubber Man end up in bed together again.
Although, it seems that maybe Langdon has pissed Gallant off since he ends up reaching over and grabbing a pair of scissors and stabbing the Rubber Man.Except, it is Joan-Fucking-Collins and now I am sad she is dead because she ate up the most lines so far in AHS Apocalypse. Even if she was a bitch.
CF: But is she dead? I mean, we’ve seen all the witches of Coven back together and the last time we saw those witches some of them were dead. Before this season is over, I expect to see Joan back doing her “Surprise, Bitch” walk.
RT: I really hope we haven’t seen the end of her yet.
While Michael Langdon doesn’t interview anyone else, he does interrogate Ms. Wilhemina Venable (Sarah Paulson) and viewers find out that she has some sort of back deformity. Variety speculates that maybe she was outside when the initial apocalyptic blasts hit. Although considering the group arrived so quickly after those blasts, this doesn’t really seem that likely. Wilhemina also gives off a strong “fuck the patriarchy” vibe, and that’s probably why she enforced the no sex rule in Episode 1 of American Horror Story: Apocalypse.
CF: I think she has scoliosis, or sideways curvature of the spine, though in her case it looks extreme. Langdon knew about it which leads me to believe it’s in her file as she likely would have had a medical examination. We know she’s in pain–she mentioned it–and severe cases can cause the hips to become uneven, leaving it difficult for a person to walk. That would therefore explain the cane. And this all raising the question: Why would The Cooperative put her in charge of one of their outposts? There’s some bullshit going on here we haven’t seen.
RT: I immediately thought of scoliosis as well. I hadn’t;t thought ahead of that, though, and I think you’re right about there being extra shit going on we don’t yet know about. That whole conversation felt layers to me.
Speaking of the no sex rule, Timothy (Kyle Allen) and Emily (Ash Santos), sneak into Langdon’s room while he is busy and discovers that Ms. Wilhemina is bullshiting about the no sex rule since it isn’t endorsed by The Cooperative. And, since Langdon is a member of this group and present at the fallout shelter, they figure ‘fuck it’ and dig in for some primal gratification.
And then fall asleep.
Because apparently, they are stupider than they look.
CF: Because with it’s the end of the world and you’ve done something can result in being killed, you fall asleep. Of course. Perfect genes, but dumb as fuck.
So, when Ms. Miriam Mead (Kathy Bates) walks in and finds them, a shit storm erupts. And, with no consultation with Langdon, the pair are taken away to be killed.
Timothy figures, what the hell, though, and tries to take control. He manages to get his hands on a gun and shoot Ms. Miriam. However, the other woman with her is a giant and quickly overpowers Timothy.
Ms. Miriam manages to duck around the corner to investigate her wound in safety.
— AmericanHorrorStory (@AHSFX) September 20, 2018
That’s when we find out that Miriam is a robot.
Or, an ice cream machine. It’s hard to tell with all that weird custardy blood oozing out.
However, we’ll have to wait until next week to find out what it all means. Although, as I commented on in my recent Inquisitr article, I think Miriam was just as shocked as the viewers to discover she had machinery inside of her. So, it seems that all the hosts have been programmed that way, not just the Westworld ones.
CF: Ryan Murphy ripping off a concept from a successful HBO series? Say it ain’t so! Maybe we’ll discover that Sanctuary is actually Sanctuary World!
Personal Note: Just quietly, I wonder if the Rubber Man is making all the decisions over who gets the golden ticket to the Sanctuary and the interviews by Langdon are just bullshit.
CF: It really feels like Rubber Man is there for some reason than fucking Evan Peters. Although there’s nothing wrong with that. It is also possible that Rubber Man is some kind of demon that ol’ Langdon has at his beck and call. It would explain how it got inside without anyone seeing him.
RT: I totally think dad and son are in cahoots with each other and it has nothing at all to do with what the official line is.
American Horror Story returns to FX with Episode 3 of Season 8 on Wednesday, September 26 at 10 p.m. ET.
[Featured image via Kurt Iswarienko/FX]