This episode of AHS Apocalypse delves further into Michael Langdon’s (Cody Fern) “interviews” in order to pick those he deems perfect for the Sanctuary. Considering he is the Antichrist, he is not looking for likable people or those with a strong sense of morality.
During this process, it is discovered that Mallory (Billie Lorde) has enough repressed anger at having to deal with the completely irritating and overly entitled Coco St. Pierre Vanderbilt (Leslie Grossman), as well as probably being a bit cranky with having to wear that incredibly tight topknot that she manages to set the room on fire. This impresses Langdon no end but scares the shit out of the usually meek Mallory.
CF: I have to say I loved the opening between Michael and Mallory. There was just enough of “What the fuck is she?” going on that it kept you wanting more. Then when he pretty much showed his “real” self and she responded by damn near setting the room on fire, I was like, “This is crazy shit!” By the time she walked out I was assuming she was some kind of angel since Michael had no idea what she was.
Dinah Stevens (Adina Porter) is eager to get to the Sanctuary. She seems to be saying all the right things to Langdon as well.Coco is also determined to make it to the Sanctuary and will stop at nothing to get there. Thinking she is seducing Langdon, she promised to do things that she had never even let her boyfriend do to her. But, bitch, surprise! That’s not Langdon but the aforementioned boyfriend!
CF: Just remember, when you’re trying to seduce the Anti-Christ, promise anallingus. But make sure it’s not your irradiated boyfriend, ‘kay?
You see, even though she dumped him in her race to get to the bunker before the world ended, Brock (Billy Eichner) survived and has spent the last 18 months living in the radioactive wastelands. Others have survived the blasts as well and it is looking suspiciously like Mad Max out there. Brock has spent his time looking for the bunker and hitches a ride with a carriage that is — conveniently — headed straight for it.This carriage is filled with delicious red apples and it seems like no one has ever read Snow White or the Bible and do not think there is anything wrong with fresh fruit. However, Ms. Wilhemina Venerable (Sarah Paulson), has a plan. Thanks to the events in Episode 2 of AHS Apocalypse, she knows she is not getting to the Sanctuary so she plans with Ms. Miriam Mead (Kathy Bates) to use the apples and some snake venom to poison everyone.
No one questions where these snakes came from either.
But, for inquiring minds at home, these snakes came about thanks to a blood ritual performed by Langdon. Already, alarm bells are going off.So, Wilhemina poisons the apples and tells everyone that it is Halloween and its time to bob for apples.
Brock has snuck into the bunker and, thanks to a convenient masquerade ball to celebrate Halloween, dons a mask and sets about seducing Coco. As mentioned earlier, Coco thinks this is Langdon in disguise and tries sexual favours as a way to guarantee a spot in the Sanctuary. Brock stabs her in the head instead and I am cheering at the screen because, man, that bitch was annoying as fuck.
CF: I was glad to see her die as well, but you know, it was about this time I was thinking, “So, is everyone dying, ’cause, it’s the third episode and shit, there’s a lot more to do.”
Meanwhile, Wilhemina is telling everyone to eat the apples and people are dying around her. Which has me wondering what the fuck was the point of the first two episodes if everyone is dead now.
Wilhemina and Miriam head on over to Langdon’s room so Miriam can shoot him.
Except, surprise Wilhemina! This was all a plan between Langdon and his robot bestie and Wilhemina gets shot instead. So, as The Wrap points out, was he planning to kill everyone all along?
CF: Because Anti-Christ? He didn’t want everyone anyway? Shit really wasn’t making sense about now—
Once again, what was even the point of the first two episodes?
But then, three women are seen in silhouette out in the wastelands and you know already that the Coven has arrived.In walks Cordelia Foxx (Sarah Paulson), Madison Montgomery (Emma Stephens), and Myrtle Snow (Frances Conroy), demanding to know where their fellow witches are and, blam! Coco, Mallory, and Dinah are revived.
Boy, am I pissed Coco was one of the chosen.
However, what about the rest of those poisoned by Wilhemina? Mainly, Timothy (Kyle Allen) and Emily (Ash Santos) and their special genes? Was that just filler, or will they make an appearance again at some point further along in American Horror Story: Apocalypse?
I guess we’ll just have to wait until next week to find out 😉
CF: The beginning of this was great, but a large part of the middle was pretty draggy. And once everyone died I figured there had to be another plan ’cause we’re just a quarter of the way into the season. The SECOND She’s a Rainbow started playing and you could see three people walking through the mist outside I was screaming, “It’s the Witches, Bitches!” and I started laughing like crazy. The final minute or so was so, so good, and when Madison laid her, “Surprise, Bitch!” on Mallory, I was so ready to get back into this story.
Really, it feels like the first two and a half episode were just set up for the good shit. Now that it looks like we’re jumping the rails–and right about where AHS always jumps the rails–let’s hope they don’t disappoint.
American Horror Story returns to FX with Episode 4 (titled “Could It Be … Satan?”) of Season 8 on Wednesday, October 3 at 10 p.m. ET.
[Featured image via FX]