CF: Since reading last week’s recap I’ve been looking forward to this as well, because we’re talkin’ witches and Murder House! What could be better?
Here’s what happened in Episode 6 (titled “Return to Murder House”) of FX’s American Horror Story: Apocalypse.
Okay, so we are still back in the past, prior to the apocalypse of the first episode and Madison Montgomery (Emma Roberts) and Behold Chablis (Billy Porter) have bought the Murder House in an effort to find out just how fucked up Michael Langdon (Cody Fern) really is.
CF: First off, allow me to say the opening with the realtor was so good. “We’re the worst kind of Heidi Klum and Seal couple.” “I had to put on khakis!” And the look Billy gave Emma when she said she wanted to start making babies, I thought he was a second away from patting his chest and going, “No child, no.” Way to get off to a great start.
RT: Haha! I loved that bit too 🙂
Inside, they find their powers don’t work and not a ghost or demon in sight but the place is immaculate, so they know someone is still here. Which means it’s time to bring out the old school magic and viewers who tuned in at this moment might have wondered if they had just stepped into an old episode of Charmed. However, the magic is solid and they start encountering the ghostly inhabitants of the house.
And this is when it starts to dip into Days of Our Lives territory. Seriously, even the music used to highlight information is the sort of shit that makes you exaggerated gasp in surprise. So, from this point on, I pretty much rolled my eyes a lot at this episode of AHS Apocalypse. Yeah, it was kinda exciting to see all — and I mean ALL, they packed a shitload of stuff into this episode –of the original cast, some which we haven’t seen since Season 1. However, it was ridiculously melodramatic, to say the least.
CF: But you have to admit they nailed the vibe they were looking for. Because by this time a house full of dead people is gonna be filled with melodrama…
RT: I have to give you that. I guess I would be going crazy by now being unable to leave and all…And, can I just point out the fact that Madison and Behold see characters in the Murder House that bear remarkable resemblances to Cordelia Foxx (Sarah Paulson) and Myrtle Snow and no one even comments on it! What is with that??
CF: Or that Madison has an up-close and personal with a dead girl who looks like one of her witch sisters who has a killer vagina and that she also had a long conversation with a woman who looked like a certain Supreme who killed her? That suspension of disbelief can be a bitch at times.
RT: Yeah, this pissed me off so much. It was like they couldn’t be bothered dealing with it, so the writers chose to just ignore it all.
As for finding out about who Michael Langdon really is? Yeah, we learn that. But, viewers already knew that Michael was one fucked up little whackadoodle and this episode just expanded on that.
It also helped to fix that annoying timeline issue of Michael not being a 9-year-old when the apocalypse happened. However, they kind of created a new one. Because, although we see Michael grow suddenly overnight while being raised by Constance (Jessica Lange), it also creates a problem that they will have to try and explain away once more with Michael also being young while in the care of Ms. Miriam Mead (Kathy Bates).
CF: It was, to me, great to see Jessica chewing up the scenery once again and you knew she would when she makes her first appearance and lets the witches know, “This is my fucking house!” She was on her A Game and really made me miss her.
RT: Jessica Lange was the absolute highlight of this episode for me. She just chews everything up she touches.During the course of the episode, Madison and Behold get to meet with those closest to Michael during his formative years. This means, mostly, Constance and Dr. Ben Harmon (Dylan McDermott). Constance reveals how she raised him and how she knew he was a serial killer from early on. Being an eternal enabler, she covered that shit up and planted roses all over it. However, Madison and Behold have to dig up the bones of Moira (Frances Conroy) and move them off the plot to find out this information because Constance is sick to beyond death of her housemaid.
CF: Sending Moria off to a happy ending somewhere in the light was the one part of this episode I didn’t like. I mean, so what? Didn’t give a fuck. Could have spent more time on Murder House shit.
RT: I hated what they did with Moira. Not because I don’t like her and want to see her continue to suffer, but because it seemed so completely out of place. If I wan;ted cutsie, I wouldn;t be watching American Horror Story.
Meanwhile, Ben reveals that he tried to medically treat Michael. Treating him like his own son, they did a lot of father/son stuff while Tate (Evan Peters) refused to acknowledge the progeny from his nutsack because he is too busy trying to get back into Violet’s ( Taissa Farmiga) pants. Ben believes that Michael wants to be good but he just can’t help the murdering and shit. However, Michael goes too far and Ben is officially done with him after that.
CF: Also, we got Crysturbation! You could almost hear the writer thinking, “Can’t leave that out: it’s what made us famous!”
RT: Haha! That bit was pure AHS GOLD! 😀
Next up, Vivien Harmon (Connie Britton) gives her thoughts on Michael and basically echoes what everyone else has said: Michael is the spawn of the devil. Like, literally.
Speaking of the devil, we also discover in Episode 6 of American Horror Story: Apocalypse how Michael came across Miriam. It turns out that Mirian was one of the top honchos hanging out with Anton LaVey (Carlo Rota). They turn up on the doorstep one day thanks to the toxic devil fumes emanating from the place. They do more magic and that is when viewers see the shadow of the devil behind Michael. Of course, the fact that he is happily chowing down on some lady’s heart is also a pretty good indicator he is not a nice boy.
CF: The moment he bit into the heart I said, “He went full Daenerys. You never go full Daenerys.” Good thing he doesn’t have dragons.
RT: Absolutely! He also reminded me of that moment in True Blood when Eric Northman used a heart as a sippy cup.So, after hearing all of this, Madison and Behold decide it is time to head on back to the coven and discuss just how they are going to deal with Michael Langdon because, as Vivien puts it, he will destroy the world.
Oh, wait, that happens in Episode 1 of AHS Apocalypse. Sorry, guess that’s a spoiler alert right there.
CF: Though I’m beginning to wonder if he really did… I’m coming up with an idea–
RT: Oh, I’m listening!
Oh, and Madison shows us that she does have feelings and shit after she has a little chat with Violet and tells her that Tate isn’t really bad, he was just manipulated by the house to be bad so that Michael would be born. The speech works and it looks like there is going to be some ghost sex happening from now on in that house. Well, at least until the apocalypse hits…What did you think of Episode 6 of American Horror Story: Apocalypse? Let us know your thoughts by commenting below.
CF: I know many people have thought this episode a bit too melodramatic for their tastes, but I did love it. It felt like the batshit AHS of old without it haven’t jumped the fucking rails so hard it was in another solar system. Also, while Sara Paulson has been getting rave reviews for her directing, Crystal Liu wrote a hell of a script that was, for the most part, a lot like the stuff she was editing from the Murder House to Freak Show seasons. Good job.
All and all I was happy with the episode. Perfect? No. But it made me miss how good Murder House was and gets me itching to go back and binge it this weekend.
RT: I am also itching to dive back into Murder House after watching this episode 🙂
American Horror Story returns to FX with Episode 7 (titled “Traitor”) of Season 8 on Wednesday, October 24 at 10 p.m. ET.
[Featured image via FX]