CF: The opening of this was boring as shit. And you’re right: if you watch this in a couple of days it won’t seem to drag. But waiting week to week? Now that we’re getting all the back history, it’s taking away from how good the first few episodes were.
Regardless, here’s what happened in Episode 7 (titled “Traitor”) of FX’s American Horror Story: Apocalypse.
So, now that Madison Montgomery (Emma Roberts) and Behold Chablis (Billy Porter) have worked out just how fucked they all are with Michael Langdon (Cody Fern) being the spawn of Satan and all, they return to the coven to let everyone in on the bummer news.
Cordelia (Sarah Paulson), not one to sit back and wait for the apocalypse, enlists the help of Papa Legba (Lance Reddick). And, can I just say at this point that I am loving the heck out of any performance Adina Porter is throwing at AHS this season! I could have watched an entire episode of her as the voodoo queen doing what voodoo queens do. But, I digress… So, Papa Legba is not one to be toyed with and says straight up — after revealing he has Nan (Jamie Brewer) in his underworld with him and she is now officially a bitch — that he wants the souls of the coven in return for also taking Michael with him.Cordelia can’t agree to those terms and so everyone is doomed to die in the apocalypse.
Next, it’s time to get Bubbles McGee (Joan Collins) onboard since she can read minds and they want to know what Ariel Augustus (Jon Jon Briones) and Baldwin Pennypacker (BD Wong) are up to. So, a dinner party is hatched and I could watch Joan Collins all freaking night! Seriously, can next season just be Adina and Joan being multiple snarky characters?
CF: I also want to say AHS missed a golden opportunity by not having their movie-within-a-tv-show Crazy Santa played by Ian McShane. Seriously, who dropped the ball here? Just imagine him blowing that line and having him and Joan start throwing f-bombs at each other. It would have been golden.
RT: Yessss! That would have been EPIC!The witches also bring the pile of John Henry Moore (Cheyenne Jackson) shaped ashes back to life and find out all about Miriam Mead (Kathy Bates).
After all this fact-gathering, the witches decide it is time to burn Ariel, Baldwin, and Miriam at the stake. John happily lights the match and watches them all burn.
Oh, and did I mention that Mallory (Billie Lourde) is now the upcoming Supreme?In addition, Coco St. Pierre Vanderbilt (Leslie Grossman) has a new super-lame power: She can guess the exact calories in food just by letting her eyes roll back in her head.
Which, coincidentally, is the exact same thing I was doing too. Well, the eye-rolling, at least.
CF: The only thing I want to know now is why Cordelia put Coco and Mallory out at sleepers who didn’t know they were witches? Did she do it because she wanted to protect the next Supreme? Just get to that part, okay?
RT: This is what I am wondering too.
CF: And because I know you’ll want to know, the burnings were performed in front of Sepulveda Dam, which is on the L.A. River next to Sherman Oaks and Van Nuys and forms the Sepulveda Basin Recreation Area, some of which will be used for the 2028 Olympics. This is a popular spot in Los Angeles for advertisements and parts of “Iron Man 2” and the remake of “The Italian Job” were shot here. We also know this is going to be where Cordelia has a showdown with Micheal, because we saw it on the previews.
RT: Thank you 🙂
Her super-lame power better be the one thing that ends up saving the world. Otherwise, what is even the point of this character?
So, now that is all sorted, I guess we will just continue on with the pre-apocalypse episodes next week…
What did you think of Episode 7 of American Horror Story: Apocalypse? Let us know your thoughts by commenting below.
American Horror Story returns to FX with Episode 8 (titled “Sojourn”) of Season 8 on Wednesday, October 31 at 10 p.m. ET.
[Featured image via FX]