Considering how much I hated AHS Cult, I have still managed to tune in for Season 8 of American Horror Story. However, this is only because I have been promised a Murder House/Coven crossover and by god Ryan Murphy better deliver. So, without further ado, here’s my recap of Episode 1 (titled “The End”) of American Horror Story: Apocalypse.
Cassidy Frazee: As Rachel and I hate-watched AHS: Roanoke together and completely blew off Cult, I’m back watching as well and will chime in with my thoughts on the season.
Now, wouldn’t it be just great if when the apocalypse hits there were special bunkers designed for the chosen and the rich?
No, I didn’t think this would be a good idea either, but that’s the plan in AHS Apocalypse. As a result of this, a teenage guy called Timothy (Kyle Allen), personal assistant to a mega-bitch Mallory (Billie Lourd), and some girl from prison are the only nice characters so far.Oh, and Joan Fucking Collins. But she is one of the purple bitches, otherwise known as the elite. The rest of them are entitled cunts that should all should have probably died when everything went to the crapper.
The greys in the post-apocalyptic world, on the other hand, are people like Mallory and are tasked with being nothing more than glorified slaves.
CF: Let me say this before we get too far into the recap: the opening to this episode was perfect. A great cold opening that tells you it’s the end of the world and shit is falling apart and, oh yeah: there’s some shady-ass organization known as The Cooperative running shit behind the scenes. I loved the panic, I love the sense that it was every person for themselves, and Mallory’s line, “Are you trying to fucking kill me? This tastes like turtle shit!” sold me that this was going to be a different kind of AHS. Also, dropping four “fucks” in five minutes helped as well.
RT: I also forgot to mention how AHS has returned to being visually stunning again. Which means, even if Ryan Murphy digs this into the ground, at least it will still be pretty to watch.
So, the world goes to the shit and those who are rich enough to pay their way or have magical blood or some shit that was discovered thanks to our addiction to Ancestry.com DNA testing, end up in a place run by Ms. Wilhemina Venable (Sarah Paulson). Now, if there’s one thing I have learned from watching previous seasons of American Horror Story, it’s that Sarah Paulson means nothing but trouble.
Although to be fair, she doesn’t seem to be a screamer this season and that’s a vast improvement on AHS Roanoke.
Wilhemina rules with an iron fist. Part of this is because they now have finite resources and part of it is likely because she read way too much 50 Shades before the world went down.
CF: And it’s Sarah Fucking Paulson. She’s playing three roles this season so why not get our your inner dyke bitch for one of those roles and own every scene you’re in.
RT: I already love how fucked up Wilhemina is 😀She has a couple of rules that make sense. After all, there is a shit tonne of radiation floating around outside, so staying indoors is important. As for the no sex ever rule. Well, I think that’s just a crock. To be honest, it’s likely in place so they can occasionally get some fresh meat for dinner.
Yes, AHS Apocalypse involves cannibalism.
Stu (Chad James Buchanan) gets accused of going outside and getting himself radiationed up. It turns out this is a crock of shit made up by Ms. Miriam Mead (Kathy Bates) in a moment that smacks of sexual tension between her and Wilhemina. Regardless, Stu ends up in the pot and served up for dinner.
Most of the survivors are suitably disgusted at eating a stew made, quite literally, from a guy named Stu. However, Evie Gallant (Joan Collins) gives zero shits and decides she’s eating chicken and continues on enjoying the meal.
CF: “The stew… is Stu!” This followed by Mallory calling for her assistant to stick her finger down her throat is a good indication that AHS isn’t going to take itself too seriously this season. Also, I was laughing my ass off at that and how Joan gave no fucks about eating someone because it has plenty of fiber!
RT: I think this was my favourite scene from Episode 1. It was HILARIOUS!
Fast forward 18 months and nothing much has changed other than they are now being rationed down to one food cube a day in order to survive.Except a horsedrawn carriage arrives to shake things up. This carriage belongs to The Cooperative. This group is supposed to be in charge of everything. However, I think Wilhemina has other ideas in this regard.
Episode 1 ends with some guy from The Cooperative telling Wilhemina that he will decide who gets moved to a more secure facility — one that has a decade’s worth of supplies. Of course, he could take them all, or none of them, depending on what he decides…
My guess in the new place will involve a certain coven and the anti-christ conceived in Murder House.
CF: Seeing as how said Anti-Christ was the one who showed up to figure out who is worth means this shit is likely to get interesting over the next few episodes.
What did you think of the premiere episode of FX’s American Horror Story: Apocalypse? Let us know your thoughts by commenting below!
CF: I commented to someone right after watching this, “The first episode was fucked up–but it MY kind of fucked up! Keep it coming if it’s like that.” This hit the right tone. It was spooky, it was strange, it was funny, and Evan Peters is probably going to be let off the leash a few times to chew on scenery. Please, AHS: don’t fuck this up. If you go off the rails, make it like the rail jumping in the first three seasons and not like in the last three.
RT: I was just way too excited when I saw Evan Peters. He certainly has the potential to eat up scenes in this role 🙂
American Horror Story returns to FX with Episode 2 of Season 8 on Wednesday, September 19 at 10 p.m. ET.
[Image via FX]