Everyone is preparing for the march of the Night King (Vladimír Furdík). This means that Jon Snow (Kit Harington) is shitting his pants whenever everyone knocks at the gate and everyone else is working out where they will be positioned when the Dead army arrives.
Tormund (Kristofer Hivju) arrives just in time to announce that the Night King will be there in the morning and poor Gendry (Joe Dempsie) has to up his weapon making count before then.
He has also made Arya’s (Maisie Williams) weapon and it is awesome. Arya is so thankful that she questions him about all the times he’s had sex and then proceeds to take her clothes off. Because, you know, YOLO.
— Complex (@Complex) April 22, 2019
Bran (Isaac Hempstead-Wright) is helping plot out the war defenses and announces that the Night King hates his guts. Well, not his particularly, just the Three-eyed Raven in general. Which means he will totally draw out the Night King by acting as bait at the Weirwood. If he is successful, they will have a genuine chance at killing the Night King and, as Jon points out, this will knock out his undead army in one fell swoop. Theon (Alfie Allen) volunteers as tribute and will stay with Bran.
I totally predict Theon has reached the end of his story arc and it would be a rather nice way for him to die.
But, then he looks at Sansa in that way and Sansa (Sophie Turner) is all hugging him when he first arrives at Winterfell and I will cut the Night King if he takes Theon now.
— abby (@thronestcrk) April 22, 2019
Speaking of Sansa, Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) is trying to become besties with the woman who would be her sister-in-law if she and Jon get married. While she does a good job of pointing out their awesome girl power, Sansa is single-minded in asking about the fate of the North if the Night King is defeated.
And, you know how Daenerys gets when her absolute power is questioned…
As for that awkward conversation Jon needs to have with Daenerys about their family tree and the fact that he is the one true heir, well, you need to wait a bit longer for that. However, Dany is noticing Jon’s cold shoulder in Episode 2 of Game of Thrones Season 8.Last week’s episode of Game of Thrones saw Jaime Lannister (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) arriving at Winterfell after finally giving up on Cersei ‘s (Lena Headey) lying arse. Daenerys is all for burning him. However, Brienne of Tarth (Gwendoline Christie) vouches for him and that is enough for Sansa so Daenerys has to keep him. Tyrion (Peter Dinklage), who is being called out for believing Cersei’s lies is relieved and they have a nice little chat about how it would be nice if their father was here to witness them fighting for the Starks.
Brienne is having to put up with Tormund’s puppy love. She occupies her time by fawning all over Jaime.
Needless to say, though, Tormund doesn’t notice this and we have to hear a rather unfortunate story about how he got his moniker of “Giantsbane.”
Jaime, on the other hand, knights Brienne and I am pretty sure that is that love triangle sorted.
Which means no giant babies unless Brienne is into threesomes.
And I totally hope she is into threesomes…
Tormund: I’d make you a knight if I were a king
Jaime: *makes Brianne a knight*
— yee (@unoriginalmemer) April 22, 2019
As people prepare for the attack on Winterfell, there is plenty of talk about how safe the crypts will be. So, that is where all the women and children are being sent. It is also where the dead Starks are buried and I am wondering just how close the Night King has to be in order to raise the dead and kill all of the women and children…
Serr Jorah gets to be thankful for Jon Snow taking his woman and Tyrion for taking his position of Hand of the Queen in the latest episode of Game of Thrones. because the poor man can’t cut a break.But, wait, Samwell Tarly (John Bradley), who has been banished to the crypts even though he was the first one to kill a white walker and, as he points out, stole lots of books, is feeling sorry for Jorah and gives him the Tarly sword. I guess Jorah will have to count his breaks where he can.
So, about that conversation between the Targaryens.
Daenerys gets sick of Jon avoiding her and corners him in the crypt where Jon is staring at his mum, Lyanna. She then talks about her brother, Rhaegar, pointing out that everyone raved about how wonderful. Except for that one time when he raped Lyanna.
Jon’s then all, “Funny story about that,” and tells Dany about how he is really her nephew.
Daenerys is predictably pissed about the fact that makes Jon more of a contender for the iron throne than being worried about them being related.
— Epic Movie Page (@EpicMovieClips) April 22, 2019
She immediately points out that the “evidence” Jon has supplied has come from his brother and his best friend. This is a totally valid point. Plus, besides the journal entry about Rhaegar and Lyanna’s marriage, there is nothing on the record that Lyanna gave birth. And Bran’s visions don’t count, you can just tell that by looking at Dany’s face.
However, before they can really get into a full-blown argument, the horn sounds and the dead have arrived and now their watch begins.
As I said earlier, I think Theon is good to go in Episode 3 of Game of Thrones Season 8.
I also think that little conversation that Missandei (Natalie Emmanuel) and Grey Worm (Jacob Anderson) had about happier places and planning for the future is a good indicator they could die next week.
I also believe that it is time for Sam to die as well, judging by that lovely shot of him laying down with his happy little family. And, with them all being down in the crypt of Winterfell and my thoughts on the dead Starks. Well…
Tits and Dragons Meter
For a reminder of my rating scale, please visit here.
2 out of 5 for Tits. Yeah, I know we really didn’t get much nudity. But, it was Arya and I never once thought that HBO would go there. So, fight me.
0 out of 5 for Dragons. After all that dragon action in last week’s episode there is no surprise we didn’t get to see them this week. We did, however, get to see Ghost. Which makes me wonder why both mythical creatures never seem to appear in the same episode together…
What did you think of Episode 2 of Game of Thrones Season 8? Let us know your thoughts and theories by commenting below.
Season 8 of Game of Thrones returns to HBO with Episode 2 on Sunday, April 28 at 9 p.m.
[Featured image via Helen Sloan / HBO]