This is the episode in which everyone is pregnant and zero fucks are given by everyone else.
So Ragnar (Travis Fimmel) is totally getting bagged out for the defeat at Paris we saw in episode 7 of Vikings. And it turns out this is the best thing for him as he devises an ingenious plan to get the vikings past the forts and into Paris. The title of this episode is the dead give away. “Portage” is a word used to describe the transportation of water vessels across land between two bodies of water. And that is exactly what happens. To be just that little more epic, Ragnar decides the vikings must pull their longships up some high cliffs first using an endless supply of wood that they must have found under some seats on their vessels. Floki (Gustaf Skarsgard), who was saved by Ragnar in the previous episode of Vikings is all Team Ragnar now and comes up with the ways and means to not only get the ships onto land but then across it.While all this is going on, Helga (Maude Hirst) has recovered from near and Torvi (Georgia Hirst) is having hallucinations about Erlendur (Edvin Endre) killing Bjorn (Alexander Ludwig).
Oh, and Ragnar is killing Yidu.
Yes, when the drug deal goes wrong and Yidu (Dianne Doan) calls his bluff after he tells her she is not a free woman, but free to come and go as she pleases, Ragnar loses his shit and drowns the poor woman. In. Front. Of. His. Sons. Yeah, about Aslaug (Alyssa Sutherland) being the bad parent Ragnar… I am officially done with druggie Ragnar this season.
Speaking of Aslaug, it is a shit week for her after her son shows her just what Harbard (Kevin Durand) gets up to when he isn’t having sex with her. As with every true cult leader, he is screwing every woman in town, sometimes two at a time. Poor Aslaug, she’s devastated and goes into a rage. But when Harbard confronts her and starts spouting his “I’m just following the gods” I am left wondering if Aslaug can even see the irony in the matter.
Now, if one death isn’t enough for you in episode 8 of Vikings, strap yourself in because Count Odo (Owen Roe) is about to be whipped to death thanks to his treasonous ways. Therese (Karen Hassan) lures Odo to his death, promising all his BSDM fantasies. Instead he finds Roland (Huw Parmenter) with a whip that isn’t quite to his taste.
Once Odo has been disposed of, the Emperor (Lothaire Bluteau) promotes his son inlaw, Rollo (Clive Standen), to Odo’s position because Gisla (Morgane Polanski) has a bun in the oven. Therese immediately lets the Emperor know she is minus a lover.
Shit gets even more real in Wessex when King Ecbert (Linus Roache) arrives victorious against Mercia. However, once Kwenthrith finds out she is no longer the official ruler of Mercia, she has a pissy fit of the highest order. Not only does she no longer have a place to call home, but she is bearing yet another bastard child–this time to Ecbert’s son, Aethelwulf (Moe Dunford). King Ecbert has zero fucks to give about anything but the fact Mercia is much larger than Wessex and his penis is officially the biggest in the land now.Kwenthrith, realising her precarious position tries to escape Wessex for… well, anywhere but there. She gets nabbed just outside the doors and then has to resort to trying to kill Ecbert. Which totally doesn’t happen because she falls to the monologuing monster and Judith stabs her.
Yes, one of my fave female characters is dead and I am ugly crying at this point.
As Kwenthrith lays dying, Judith blames Ecbert for what she has done. But the blame is squarely on Judith’s shoulders as far as I’m concerned. Suddenly that gilded cage Ecbert offered her and she so quickly climbed into isn’t as fun as she first thought.
What did you think of episode 8 of Vikings season 4? Let us know your thoughts by commenting below.
Season 4 of Vikings returns to History Channel with episode 9, entitled “Death All ‘Round” on Thursday, April 14, at 10 p.m. ET.
The official synopsis for episode 9 is as follows.
“The labors of the Vikings eventually bear fruit as, within sight of Paris, they re-launch their boats but this time along with some interesting structures that Floki has made. Aethelwulf and Alfred eventually arrive in Rome and honors are conferred by Pope Leo but relations are not so cordial in Wessex between King Ecbert and the disgruntled King Aelle.”
[Images via A&E Network]
- Vikings, Season 4, Episode 7 Recap, “The Profit And The Loss” (thesnarkingdeadrecaps.wordpress.com)